dear reader:

if you’re going to be in seattle in mid-october, come see a slew of local authors–including yours truly–participating in The Novel Live!. Okay, i’m going to try and explain this novel live thing. Each author takes a two hour shift, starting in where the last author finished off, and in the course of a week, we will have written one complete novel.

and it’s Live because you can come watch. What could be more exciting than that? Watching an actual author sitting at a laptop, writing? My shift is October 15th from 6 to 8 pm at the Richard Hugo house. And i’m going to need some help, so somebody please show up. We can make a plan in advance where i say i have to use the ladies’ room, and then you, dear reader, sit in my seat and type away, and meanwhile i take FOREVER to come out of the bathroom! And when i DO emerge, you will have done most of my writing for me. Perfect!

So this whole shindig starts on Monday, the 11th, and ends Saturday the 16th. Oh, i forgot to say, that the writing will be live streamed! We are using technology! Harnessing it for our needs! We are so cool. Oh, i also forgot to say that this whole thing is being brought to you by Seattle 7 Writers, of which i am still a member despite my decampment to southern california. They like me! They really like me!

i think that’s about all the info i can give you right now. reader? are you still there? wake up! i’m getting to the good part RIGHT NOW.

because i just realized i could cut and paste all of the info from the seattle 7 website. And it will all become crystal clear to you. I won’t paste all of it, but here’s some of it:

Seattle7Writers and Richard Hugo House Present “The Novel: Live!”
Thirty-six Pacific Northwest authors write a 60,000-word novel in six days before your very eyes

On October 11, 2010, thirty-six authors will begin one of the most stunning literary feats ever imagined—they will collaborate on a book-length piece of fiction in a marathon writing session over six days. This real-time performance, called “The Novel: Live!,” includes Seattle7Writers Garth Stein and Jennie Shortridge as well as bestselling authors Jamie Ford, Elizabeth George, Erik Larson and Nancy Rawles, among many others, and will occur at Richard Hugo House, a nonprofit center for writers and readers in Seattle, before both a live and virtual audience as part of Arts Crush, a month-long festival and celebration of the Seattle-area arts scene.

Why a marathon novel? To raise both awareness of and money for literacy causes in the Pacific Northwest, the primary missions of Seattle7Writers, say co-organizers Stein and Shortridge. The event is being made possible with a grant from Amazon.

On Sunday, October 10, story elements for “The Novel: Live!,” including themes, characters and locations, will be decided upon with input from the community at the kick-off party for Arts Crush Literary Week at Elliott Bay Books, and then beginning 10 a.m. on Monday, October 11, Shortridge will have a seat and begin typing at a computer stationed on Hugo House’s Cabaret stage. Every two hours until 10 p.m. each evening, a new, nationally published Northwest author will assume control of the computer—and of the story—until the novel is completed by Stein on the evening of October 16.

To assist the authors in this risky challenge, each will have three “lifelines,” which can be used to call fellow authors or their own agents and publishers, and the advice and encouragement of “TN:L!” official “spokes-librarian,” Nancy Pearl, famed Seattle librarian and author of “Book Lust.”

Through screen projection at Hugo House, live streaming online at thenovellive.org and regular updates from authors on Facebook and Twitter, the novel will take shape before the eyes of its readers, who will have the chance to participate in the story by offering audience suggestions, online comments, submitting to the cover design contest, writing their own “fan fiction” and purchasing character naming rights.

Upon completion of the novel on Saturday, October 16, it will be published and available for purchase as an e-book in all formats. Proceeds will be donated to Northwest literacy nonprofits via Seattle7Writers.

“The Novel: Live!” runs at Richard Hugo House 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Monday-Saturday, October 11-16, 2010. The event is free and open to the public throughout each day. In the evenings from 5-7 and 9-10 p.m., Hugo House will host happy hours with drink specials, refreshments and snacks available at its bar/café.

Details at thenovellive.org and hugohouse.org.

A List of Participating Authors

Garth Stein
Jennie Shortridge
Carol Cassella
Mary Guterson
Erica Bauermeister
Kit Bakke
Susan Wiggs
Erik Larson
Jamie Ford
Kevin O’Brien
Maria Dahvana Headley
Matthew Amster-Burton
Suzanne Selfors
Ed Skoog
Sean Beaudoin
Robert Dugoni
Kathleen Alcala
Karen Finneyfrock
Nancy Rawles
Craig Welch
Julia Quinn
Deb Caletti
Dave Boling
Peter Mountford
Kevin Emerson
William Dietrich
Elizabeth George
Clyde Ford
Stacey Levine
David Lasky
Greg Stump
Indu Sundaresan
Teri Hein
Jarret Middleton
Frances McCue

okay dear reader, if you really have read all the way down to this, i thank you for your tenacity. I’ll be at the hugo house bar on October 15th at 5 pm. Please show up. You can buy my drink!

yours, mary

today is august 16th, i’m pretty sure. Which makes tomorrow august 17th. Which is my wedding anniversary. Which i don’t really want to think about, seeing as how i’m not married anymore, except technically. So let’s all agree not to mention it.

I’m in a lousy mood today, which is either the best time or the worst time to write a post, but either way, here i am. Why am i in a lousy mood, you may ask? Because tomorrow’s my wedding anniversary, duh-uh.

new subject.

can’t think of another one.

Oh! Went to my high school reunion the other night. This guy, Chip, was there. And i said, god chip do you remember that you took me out on a date when we were seniors and we had, like, this one long kiss, and then we never went out again? And he kind of just looked at me, because no he couldn’t remember. So i’ve been carrying this little nugget around for thirty five years (thirty five years!) and he has not. A memory not shared. Shit, i hate that.

Trust me. All the other boys that i kissed remember it. I’m sure of it.

yours, mary

Here i sit, in my one bedroom North Hollywood apartment, waiting for the movers. Hired a company called something like Pink Movers. Their ad shows buff gay guys in pink shirts. What are the odds that when they show up they will NOT be buff gay guys in pink shirts? I’ll let you know.

Moving to West Hollywood. Home of buff gay guys in pink shirts.

It’s been a crazy month since i last posted. My son graduated from Yale, and now i’ll no longer be able to throw the fact that i have a son at Yale into conversation. Bummer!

oh, they are here. Two Russian guys–Alex and Vlad–in yellow t-shirts with a huge smiley face on them! Better than pink shirts!

Gotta go.

Yours, mary

….my bio on this website is completely out of date since, as anyone who has been following along knows, i moved to los angeles last month. Well, that’s what happens when your kid moves across the country and you never did take those notes you meant to take while he explained how to update the pages of your website. In my own defense, even if i HAD taken notes, the chances of me being able to follow them is just about nil. Wait. Was that in my own defense? Well, you get the point. I suck at all things computerish.

so here is a teeny trifle of news (is that redundant: teeny trifle?). And that is that a short story of mine, “Field Trip,” which i was honored to both write and read as part of a fundraiser for Humanities Washington, will now appear in that same entity’s upcoming anthology, due out in October. This makes me very happy because not only do i get to say i have a story coming out in an anthology, but i can also sneak in the fact that it’s for a fundraiser. I am so selfless! Do you hear that hannah? Your mother! Selfless! She doesn’t even need a card for mother’s day! which is coming up! in a week and a half! No worries!

okay, as you can see, even though i don’t post a lot, when i DO post here, it’s just as dumb as ever. Nice to know there’s something you can count on in this crazy world.

yours, mary

i met scott today on the airplane. He was stuck sitting in the same row as me and my darling daughter hannah. He made it through the flight safely. and now he better be reading this, because i told him i was going to write about him. Hello Scott! You see? We weren’t lying to you. I really did write two books! And now you can head right out and buy them.

Really, though. Good luck on your move to seattle. Look out ladies of queen anne hill!

yours, mary

i just realized that i forgot to say…..i am now a member of this great group of writers called Seattle7Writers. I’m so lucky they even let me join because, well, you know, i don’t live in Seattle! Or even the northwest! As anyone keeping track knows, i recently moved to the city of angels where, believe it or not, i already managed to get an overdue fine on the first book i checked out of the library down here. 70 cents! Add that to the parking ticket i got the other day, and so far i have given this city an extra $45 and 70 cents. What a good citizen i’ve turned out to be.

So anyway, the reason i bring up the seattle seven (me, garth stein, jennie shortridge, randy sue coburn, stevie kallos, kit bakke, erica bauermeister) is because we’re doing our latest fundraiser this month at the Nile Temple in Edmonds on the 21st. Please come! It’s for lunch! It’s to raise money for literacy awareness and all of the other things we raise money for–go to the website to find out. www.seattle7writers.org I’d tell you more, but i’m one of those terrible members of groups who only shows up for the snack items. And these folks have some pretty good snack items.

There. i did my part. I told you about the lunch (for those of you not paying attention: april 21, lunch, Nile Temple, Edmonds, tickets are……..i have to check how much. I think fifty bucks). Hopefully, this makes me a member in good standing and they won’t kick me out. Don’t tell Garth Stein i moved to los angeles, by the way. He’s out of town on so many author events that i don’t think he’s noticed. So, shhhhhhh!

In other news, my new good buddy Ben Loory will have a short story in the April 12th edition of the New Yorker, so get yourself a copy and read it. Ben–stop reading this right now. Okay, so now i can tell the rest of you that Ben Loory is a fucking genius and his story is brilliant and when his book of short stories comes out, you can buy a copy first and be on the cutting edge of knowing who the next cool and brilliant author is. Because it’s him. Ben Loory. Okay, Ben, you can come back now.

i think that’s it for now. Got to go pay my library fine.

yours, mary

….since i last wrote. Did any of you notice? Just say you did. Say you missed me. I’m a bit low in the self-esteem department.

also, i moved. To los angeles.

why did i  move, you ask? None of your beeswax! No, no, i can understand how you’d want to know, you who have been missing me for the last three months. Let’s chalk if up to life changes. That’s a euphemism. Use your imagination. Yes. You got it right. That’s what happened, and now i’m in LA.

I like it here. Did you know that LA is surrounded by mountains? And also, it turns out that I know a lot of people in this city. People who seem very happy to see me. And i love it when someone’s happy to see me. All part of that self-esteem thing.

so i hope that cleared things up.

I’m working on a new novel. Slowly. I’m also working on turning Gone to the Dogs into a screenplay because–come on!–i live in los angeles! Also i bought a television set. Oh, man, have i been missing a lot of good shows! Nurse Jackie! She’s the best!

Thanks for visiting me. I mean that. You are very sweet to have looked me up.

yours, mary

okay, i just now checked my stats for this website after not paying a speck of attention for a good, long time, and it turns out that some of you out there have been making visits every now and again. What a rude hostess i have been! My apologies. If i’d known you were stopping by, i would have written some fresh material for your reading pleasure. Honestly, i thought my moment had passed and that you’d forgotten all about me. This really warms my heart. Thank you.

yours, mary

I’m in los angeles, and this city is KRAZY!

Pros to living here: well, duh. Sun.

Cons to living here: well, duh. Sun.

And the fact that because of all of that sun, i would never get to wear any of my cool coats or sweaters. And even worse, i’d be the only person on Venice wearing long pants in ninety degree heat. Because no matter what sort of torture is used in an effort to get me to cave–war, terror, death, accident, poison, snakes, spiders, having to sit through Titanic again–there will be no shorts. I’ve made a lot of promises in my life and i’m big enough to admit to breaking one or another of them. But you can hold me to this. The day I wear shorts is the same day i wear a halter top.

but all of this isn’t worth mulling anyway, since i will be back in the freezing northwest on November 20th.

yours,

mary

i’m in the new yorker. Today. Page 79. Well, not me, but a review of my book. My own sweet little book, Gone to the Dogs. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? And they LIKED it. They call my voice “expert deadpan.” EXPERT. DEADPAN. Are those not the two sweetest words in the english language? I feel like one of those obscure writers who wins an Academy Award and then gives a teary-eyed speech where they tell children to NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS. You know them? The guys you feel like hitting? That’s me! So, go ahead, somebody hit me! Because for crying out loud, the fucking new yorker.

and of course, it comes out on Yom Kippur, so i can’t even tie one on to celebrate until after sundown.

yours, mary